MOVED.

how apropos to start on a holiday.

the sky at midnight

come visit! i will no longer be posting here.

xxx

Moving

I know I haven't had this one for long, but I need a change. I am resolving to turn my life around-- live more, love more, be more.

Stay tuned. 

there's always time for change.

I have a difficult time keeping with things. My life is a constant flip, flop, flip, flop. It's been a few months since I last posted and life feels like it has turned upside down, right side up, to its side and in all sorts of diagonals that I never expected.

I've buckled down completely. I'm taking five classes at school and find myself constantly working, working working. Deciding to go to law school has given me a goal to work towards, a goal that is not easy but I am positive I can achieve if I try. It frustrates me though that sometimes no matter how hard I study, I choke. 9am exams don't do well for me, and as well as I may understand something, applying it to a badly worded question can be infinitely difficult.

And then there's the change in social life. I've been partying, so to speak, since I was 15. Days and weeks and months of experimenting with alcohol and substances that I will probably never do again (save for the occasional event here and there) have turned me hard against the whole scene. This year's me is one who finds that there is nothing I enjoy more than sitting down for dinner with a good friend or turning on the television to watch some insipid show with a glass of wine. I worry that this means I'm antisocial. I've moved into an apartment by myself. I have friends around me but somehow I find myself wanting my space. Last year I was literally unable to resist any noise outside my door, peeking out to investigate every single little thing. This year, I flinch and noises and turn my music on louder so I can pretend there aren't any.

I think about this a lot. My therapist says my problem is that I'm afraid to get too close to people because I'm afraid I'll lose them. I think that's part of it, yet a part of me is also wary of people's intentions. I've been fucked over before and it has made me a more cynical person who no longer seeks affirmation from others. I can't figure out if this is a good thing or a bad thing?

I talked to a friend a few weeks ago, who is much older and whose insights I have always respected. He told me that being able to enjoy time with yourself is the greatest skill you can have. As an artist, he is constantly in studio on his own, thinking, painting, dreaming, scheming, brainstorming, constantly being. He said once you find comfort in that, you'll never really be alone.

So. Today marks a new chapter in the history of America. And this year marks a new chapter in the history of my life. I have my fingers crossed that the change Obama promises will be realized in every positive way his voters hope they will. And I have my fingers crossed twice over that the change happening in my life will enrich it, not deplete it.

Holiday

I am on holiday for the last leg of summer. Will be back on September 1st with lots to say I hope.
Kisses from sunny beaches!

HKFM

To my utter surprise today, I received e-mail from the Hell's Kitchen Flea Market with a subject line identical to the title of my last post. I opened it and surprise of all surprises, it read--


Thanks, HKFM! I totally did not see this coming.

Weekends are for the warriors

Weekends are traditionally known as the few days a week to relax, to maybe sit in the park with a good book or stay in bed with a tub of ice cream watching re-runs of America's Next Top Model (or, my personal choice, Australia's Next Top Mode). I need those weekends to recharge after weeks of little sleep and dance classes. This weekend, however, I had three hectic days of dinners, nights out and a day trip to Fire Island.

Because most of my plans this weekend were spontaneous, I felt so relieved to have taken an impulse visit to Forever21 last week. I have an eternal love-hate relationship with that store. On the one hand, I have found great things there at times for such low prices, while on the other, I get so frustrated at the quality of most of their items. When I went last Wednesday, though, I scored precisely my weekend outfits: one nautica-l and french-inspired navy blue and cream striped shirt with kimono sleeves that I bought in a large to wear as an off-the-shoulder dress, a grey vest with suspender backs and a LBD that looked eerily similar to Herve Leger's bandage dress--


I wore the first dress to Friday night dinner and drinks while the Herve Leger dress I saved for Friday, which I wore with the vest and some vintage costume jewelry I bought at the Hell's Kitchen flea market and some tan coloured gladiator heels. I wish desperately that I had photos but unfortunately I cannot seem to find my camera battery charger!


Photo from Catwalk Queen
I absolutely adore these bandage dresses. Having been seen on everyone from Lindsay Lohan to Amanda Bynes to Victoria Beckham to Rihanna, it has been blogged on countlessly and seems to always be featured on the tabloids' "Who Wore It Better?" pages. They come in all sorts of styles and colors and surprisingly is pretty flattering. You'd think that a tight-fitting dress would not work well on curvier girls but IMO Leger struck gold with this dress.


It was such a thrilling night. I hadn't been out clubbing properly in awhile so hearing house music pounding through the speakers, the vibrations ringing throughout my body made me remember the excitement of it all. Pink Elephant I have always loved for its electro-tunes; playing tunes that are recognizable but not quite so well known that people sing along. At the same time, I adored that at cain, people were belting out the words to familiar songs that the DJ remixed, playing snippets of each, from Daft Punk's One More Time (to which I have assigned such sentimental value) and Bon Jovi's Living on a Prayer. It was just amazing speaking to and meeting people again, and for some reason that night I felt so comfortable doing so. I think I had actual conversations above the loud bass of house music about people's jobs, their lives in New York and even about, if I remember correctly, different kinds of drinks and how much they affect one's sanity? Either way, I felt as happy as this photo all night.


Quite honestly after my crazy night out in Chelsea bouncing from Pink Elephant to Cain in 4-inch-heels, I didn't know if I would make my 8am train to Long Island. Tough as it was, I scrounged up my stuff after a measly 3 hours of much wanted sleep and dashed to Penn Station. Luckily I caught my train just in time and before I knew it (I had dozed off), I had arrived in Long Island to the happy faces of my best friend and her family. I am so glad I made the trip. It was exactly what I needed-- some pool time, healthy food, beach time and lively conversation. Not to mention I hadn't seen my best friend in two and a half months!

Back in the city, I stumbled into a cab upoun stepping out of the station and after a quick and necessary shower, I jumped straight into bed and passed out. Weekends like this are indeed for the warriors.

Style Star: Camilla Belle

Images courtesy of Just Jared, People, Style.com
For every the celebrity out there making fashion faux pas and dressing to simply start a trend no matter how outrageous the outfit, there are also underrated stars like Camilla Belle who in my eyes has never stumbled fashion-wise.

A Brazilian-American actress, I remember first watching her act with Nicole Kidman and Sandra Bullock in Practical Magic. She has grown up to be absolutely stunning and so stylish. In some manner she reminds me a lot of Margherita Missoni, always unique but classy at the same time.

She is also the face of Vera Wang's 'Princess' fragrance and has been featured on the cover of Teen Vogue, as well as several Miu Miu ads. She's a fixture on the front row seats of NY fashion week.

Vera Wang describes her as "a mix of real-girl coolness and unbelievable beauty." How apropos. An article in Teen Vogue describes Camilla's approach to fashion as "chameleonlike...frequently emerging from a project having acquired something new, stylewise." Indeed, Camilla is influenced by all that she experiences, and embraces the opportunity to dress herself instead of employing a stylist.

"When I was younger," she admits, "I had no interest [in fashion]. But after I went to Paris to see the collections for the first time a few years ago, they made a huge impression on me. I realized that fashion is an art form, like acting or painting."

A great attitude, no?